The informatin below come from an email I received from the Empathy Day Yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/empathyday/
I thought you might like it. Feel free to join the group Rick Goodfriend is sharing some great insights.
Introduction: Rebuilding Lost Trust?
Everytime, yes everytime, I have been in a doubtful communication where
I evaluate the relationship is over, yet stay
present, longer than I think I can plus a little bit more, amazingly it
comes to a wondrous conclusion and trust is redeveloped. Whether it is
in business or a personal relationship.
It is like a miracle. This happened to me just last night as a great
It was a business meeting involving a friend. I expressed I no longer
wanted to be in business with them as many of my needs were not being
met. ( I was more specific with my needs mentioned yet for space and
time I will leave out some of the conversation.
) My friend came back
stunned with some words I did not enjoy. Yet my intention and mindset
was to connect and stay with this communication. She also had the same
intention so we decided to continue talking using the Nonviolent
Communication process. Yet it seemed hopeless for both of us. It took us
about 45 minutes and we both were heard (I’m not always an angel). We
received alot of clarity about ourselves. It was a gift. I finally said
I was stuck on this strategy, do you have any alternatives. As many of
us know in Nonviolent Communication, after both parties have been heard
the solution/ strategy develops easily. Another NVC miracle as we left
more connected as ever. Without using the process of empathy we would
have both left angry and resentful. Instead we left with renewed energy
and trust in our friendship AND with a new strategy that would work for
both of us. What a gift.
EXERCISE: In a conversation that you are in and it is becoming stagnant
(or anytime), try guessing a need of theirs. (See the list below).
Example: Are you wanting __________? such as Are you wanting
understanding? Are you wanting more time? Make an authentic guess and
watch the energy rise in both of you. (Guess what, the guess doesn’t
have to be correct, yet it shows your intention is to communicate with
them) It doesn’t take much to change the energy of the conversation.
Also see last weeks Empathy tip #29 so your need does not sound like a
Try putting the needs list by your phone and enjoy connecting with your
friends, family or business calls. ( I once offered empathy to a
telemarketer, interesting story someday.)
May you find ways to meet all your needs!
Founder – World Empathy Day
* Feelings and needs list can be found at www.walkyourtalk.org
<http://www.walkyourtalk.org/> as more information about compassionate
communication may also be found..
* Archived tips may be found at the World Empathy Day Group at
* Some teaching and singing videos – http://youtube.com/rickiis
To know and be known
To see and be seen
To understand and be understood
Celebration of life
This list was developed from www.cnvc.org