Here is an article that I just found today on the MSNBC website and thought that you my readers, would relate.
Primary author Eve Tahmincioglu has been covering small business and entrepreneurship for more than a decade. She regularly writes about small business issues for the New York Times and BusinessWeek’s SmallBiz magazine. She also writes the Your Career column for MSNBC.com. She is the author of “From the Sandbox to the Corner Office.”
“I have quit feeling guilty that I’m a mom first.”
I recently read this line in Working Mother magazine while I was sitting in the pediatrician’s office waiting to have my son’s tonsils checked. Ah, guilt — every working mom has it at one point or another. How do you quit it?
I had to cancel an important story interview to get my son to the doctor’s office, and I only started reading the magazine as a way to take my mind off a number of stressful thoughts. Would I make it back to my office in time to finish an article that was due? Would the doctor tell me my kid needed his tonsils out? Would dinner be ready by 6 p.m. when my father-in-law was coming over.
The source of the quote above was Sarah Stevens, the owner of a technology security business in Charlotte, N.C., and mother of four kids, ages 9 and under.
The article talked about how she sometimes attends meetings or work dinners with a baby in tow, and “I’ve had children spill on clients,” she says. “I never really find balance, but I’m comfortable with who I am and what I do.”
Turns out many mom entrepreneurs are having trouble staying on the business balance beam, according to a new survey.
A survey of more than 1,000 female business owners who are part of the Make Mine a Million $ Business program — created by Count Me In for Women’s Economic Independence and American Express OPEN — found that 27 percent of moms have “a high level of stress related to balancing work and family demands, compared to just 18 percent of non-mothers.”
And, as you might expect, the stress level is ratcheted up for mothers with preschool-age kids. Nearly 40 percent said they had high levels of work-family anxiety.
This wasn’t all a doom-and-gloom survey. It also offered some tips from the moms surveyed when it comes to making things better.
“Moms — especially those with preschool children — do sacrifice personal time and sleep, but they employ a variety of strategies to ensure that family needs are met along with the demands of their growing businesses. Among those strategies: outsourcing household tasks, booking family time into their workday schedules and carving out family time on weekends.”
While going through this survey I started wondering why we always ask women these questions and rarely ask men.
There are typically two parents in these households, so why isn’t “dad does half the work at home” one of the top strategies these women employ?
Most women I know always gripe to me about how their hubbies just don’t do enough when it comes to family obligations.
I’m lucky to have a husband who is a true partner, but even he would admit I get stuck doing a lot of the home stuff because I’m sort of a control freak, and let’s face it, society still expects the mommies to handle most of the family load.
Maybe we women need to start thinking more like the “co-CEO” of the household and enlisting the guys to do their share.
So, how did my day end?
My son just had a cold and didn’t need his tonsils taken out. My husband went to the store and started the baked potatoes while I was at the doctor’s office, so dinner was on time. And I finished the article, although I did have to work after dinner.
Who has time to feel guilty?